Jan 20, 2012

The Five Languages {Book Review}

I've always been a bit intrigued when someone mentioned the five languages of love.  I knew that the idea stemmed from a book, and I am an avid reader of books on marriage.  I really want to be "heirs of the grace of life" with Ben, and I know that I have much room for improvement.

The Five Love Languages was a pleasure to read  listen to.  I checked it out from my library as an audio book.  I loved this format!  I listened to it while doing dishes, working out, grocery shopping--anytime my body was busy, but my mind was not.

Anyways, back to the book.  It wasn't convicting like Love and Respect, but it did clarify on a practical level such bedeviling problems, such as why I ask Ben to tell me he loves me when I know he does.  Ya wanna know why?

Go read (or listen to) the book.

No, I won't be that heartless.  Well, I might be a meanie, but that would make this post a teaser, not a review.

Anyways, the five love languages are as follows:
  • words of affirmation
  • quality time
  • gifts
  • acts of service
  • physical touch

Dr. Chapman begins the book with an introduction into marriage and explains the phenomena of "falling in love", the decision to love, and the difference between the two.  He then delves into the emotional psyche of people and how we perceive love. He shows how these perceptions can be viewed as languages; he then explains each love language, illustrates it with a real-life example from his many years of counseling, and then explains how to recognize what is your or your spouse's language.  He gives great tips at the end of each chapter about how to learn to "speak" your spouse's love language. 

I read it and shared some of the information with Ben.  He could easily identify that I perceive love through  words of affirmation and quality time.  The jury is still out on his love language, but I'm thinking quality time may be his.

I would recommend this book to any married person.  In an extremely practical way, this book will show you how to truly help your spouse have a "love tank" that overflows.  The benefit of filling your spouse's love tank is that they will likely reciprocate!

3 lovely comments:

TyKes Mom said... Best Blogger Tips

I absolutely love this book. It was such an eye opener to figure out that my love language is words of affirmation and my husband's is quality time. Not to mention how much it has helped me to figure out my children's languages! I, too, would recommend this book to everyone I know!

content2be said... Best Blogger Tips

@ Tykes Mom -- I also found it insightful in identifying my girls' love languages. I think Grace is also words of affirmation, but Leah is definitely physical touch.

Sherri said... Best Blogger Tips

This book saved my marriage before it started. About 3 weeks before our wedding, we had a HUGE misunderstanding. By listening closely to what my beloved was saying and how he was saying it, it hit me what his love language was. We haven't had that problem since then. He came from two failed marriages and I came from no relationships but in April we will have been married 3 years.